Superficiality Critics T-Shirts

Cull people who like plastic plants.

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

The Female Brain and The Other One

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Rating the Sunset

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

'I hate these things. They're always so formal.'

No caption. (Painter looks at mountain scenery but paints a cityscape.)

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

Annoying things about the beach.

The Month of November

"Thank heaven no, in this neighbourhood we only have major crime."

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

'I told you nylon carpets were a mistake.'

'You might think it's your roof, but it's really my yard.'

New Bill to Let Police Search Practises.

Medals subject to drugs test results

'I'm stupid Why have I taken a soporific'

"Anyone going slower than you, you call an idiot. Anyone going faster than you, you call a maniac."

Coming back