Sunshine Chatter T-Shirts

'I'd better go in now, Dot - I don't want to get my tongue sun-burnt again!'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

the Morning Joe team.

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

Voting on their Seats

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

Desert Island Gossipping

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

Online Dating

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Ramblers Association

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Did you see iPlayer last night?'

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

"After so many years of marriage what are you getting for your anniversary?"

"He said his first word today - pubbies!"