Sunbaked Zen Master Pillows

"He loves this -- He's into Bikram Yoga."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

FAQs.

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"First you make a roux."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'This is a spiritual journey, Buddy...not a road trip.'

Relax.

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!