Sunbaked Zen Master Pillows

"He loves this -- He's into Bikram Yoga."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"First you make a roux."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

Relax.

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.