Sudden Millionaire Gifts

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"This won't affect my benefits, will it?"

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'But I do have fun, I have lots of fun. I have lots of fun making lots of money.'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Making an honest dollar's easy. Making an honest million, now that's tough."

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

"Who would have thought, us in Hawaii, still we'd better get used to mixin' with the jet set. . ."

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."

'Once you do transmute lead into gold, you'll find the market for it is very speculative.'

Laughing man running, throwing money in the air.

Get rich quick scheme! $500-

'Boy, is Mom going to be happy when she hears we melted down her gold cards and got $950 an ounce for them!'

"I think we'll begin with the gentleman on the end."

Reality Show Host

'Yeah, I misplaced my winning Lottery ticket. I'm always losing things. I've lost my Oscar, my Nobel Peace Prize, my chunk of moon rock, my collection of four leaf clover's...'

"$100? What are you doing ... fracking your own gas?"

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

'I intend to make a million. But I need to first borrow a million.'

'Cromwell, you remind me of myself at your age... only richer.'

Financial Advisor: Old money and new money.

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

"Up next we interview the big lottery winner, but first, let's tamp down your envy and greed by looking all the lives totally devastated by winning the lottery."

'I'd like a joint account with a millionaire please.'

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

Will I ever meet a financial advisor who inerstands my needs and likes the same sports teams I do?

"What would you do if you had a million dollars?"

'We won the lottery! We're Nouveau Riche! We're Nouveau Riche!'

'I'm no longer content to live beyond my means...I want to live beyond my wildest dreams.'

"This is America! Everyone who wants to be rich should be rich!"

'Put your money into art and if you can't afford to buy a Van Gogh, take one of your kids' drawings, keep it for about 350 years and who knows, perhaps it's worth a fortune then.'