Successful Merger T-Shirts

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

Fish and color

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"Benign so far."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"I always cry at mergers."

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'