Business Mergers T-Shirts

Businessman in a tattoo parlour.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

Takeovers.

Fish and color

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"Benign so far."

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'