Suburban Lifestylers Mugs

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"He loves his leaf blower."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

'She wasn't a soccer mom after all -- she was a NINJA mom!'

Hedge Car

Mega Construction Company: Paving Paradise and Putting Up Parking Lots for Over 50 Years. Deal with it.

The Burbs

Moving Van.

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

"I told you everyone was moving out of the city!"

"This happy breed of men, this little world, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this east end of Long Island!"

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

Poker Moms

"It ran amok."

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Mowing the Lawn

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

Next 5 Exits: Five sprawling suburbs that look so much like each other even WE can't tell the difference any more. Best of luck to you.

Mark and Gwyneth had a dark secret. At night, once the curtains were closed to the suburban world outside, the facade they put up to the neighbours was revealed to be 100 genuine...they were totally boring.

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"

ahhh...peace and quiet...

"It appears Tom's cable is out again!"