Suburban Lifestyle Enthusiast T-Shirts

Invisible Dog

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Holiday cottage

The Earth studying our cities with much interest

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Beware of the Lawn

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

Immigrating to the City

"This is the main house, plus there's a cottage on the property where your Lyft driver would live."

'Main Street or Wall Street?'

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

"So this is the lovely view of trees..."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

Vote for Ken and his congestion charge.

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

"Honey, you’ve got to see this one she just left on the neighbor’s lawn—it’s perfect, like showroom condition." "Dan loved his dog."

"I'm a Big Apple kinda guy, stuck in the Garden State."

Moving Van.

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."