Suburban Lifestyle Enthusiast T-Shirts

Invisible Dog

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Holiday cottage

The Earth studying our cities with much interest

Beware of the Lawn

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"This is the main house, plus there's a cottage on the property where your Lyft driver would live."

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

"So this is the lovely view of trees..."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

Immigrating to the City

'Main Street or Wall Street?'

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

"I'm a Big Apple kinda guy, stuck in the Garden State."

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

"Honey, you’ve got to see this one she just left on the neighbor’s lawn—it’s perfect, like showroom condition." "Dan loved his dog."

Moving Van.

Vote for Ken and his congestion charge.

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance