Suburban Life Enthusiast T-Shirts

ahhh...peace and quiet...

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

Channelling on the Cheap

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

Holiday cottage

The Earth studying our cities with much interest

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Beware of the Lawn

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"So this is the lovely view of trees..."

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

Immigrating to the City

Vote for Ken and his congestion charge.

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

"I'm a Big Apple kinda guy, stuck in the Garden State."

"Honey, you’ve got to see this one she just left on the neighbor’s lawn—it’s perfect, like showroom condition." "Dan loved his dog."

Moving Van.

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

Suburban blues legends