Suburban Life Enthusiast T-Shirts

ahhh...peace and quiet...

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

Channelling on the Cheap

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

Holiday cottage

The Earth studying our cities with much interest

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Beware of the Lawn

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"So this is the lovely view of trees..."

Immigrating to the City

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"I'm a Big Apple kinda guy, stuck in the Garden State."

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

Moving Van.

"Honey, you’ve got to see this one she just left on the neighbor’s lawn—it’s perfect, like showroom condition." "Dan loved his dog."

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

Vote for Ken and his congestion charge.

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"