Suburban Life Observers T-Shirts

"I remember when this was all forest..."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Domestic Spying Drones

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

Down on Bourbon Street...

You trip on it, you buy it.

"He was much more effective in the field."

The world of surveillance.

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Maternity Hospital

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Mice 25¢

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Will Kill For Food

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

"Your sister got another promotion."

"The neighbors' place is a pig sty! Why can't we have something like that?"

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"Please help! God struck me blind for not giving to a blind beggar."