Suburban Life Observers Mugs

"I remember when this was all forest..."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Domestic Spying Drones

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

Down on Bourbon Street...

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

You trip on it, you buy it.

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"He was much more effective in the field."

The world of surveillance.

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Will Kill For Food

Maternity Hospital

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Mice 25¢

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"The neighbors' place is a pig sty! Why can't we have something like that?"

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."