Subtle Irony Fan Pillows

'What does 'bigamy' mean?', 'It's like serving two sentences concurrently.'

End the Winter Blues

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Gigolo Diary

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'No! No! No! I don't want to die. . . Then why are you carrying that enormous scythe?'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

Ingoldsby Legends - Impious Bishop Robert of Birchington

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

A Cold Snap

"I need a Smartphone, Dad?"

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

The outside of a museum with a banner that reads "Nothing by you".

"It appears to have been done with a key to the city, which narrows the suspects."

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

'He's petitioning the Government to ban petitions.'

I like your suit, to me it says 'management'

"I told him it wouldn't kill him to try to be nice once in a while, but I was wrong."

Congress and the Four Day Week.

'Soccer hooligans, majesty! Thousands of them! We're doomed!'

"That's Gerald, he was your predecessor as head of strategic planning."

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'