Subscription Service Skeptic T-Shirts

Idiot! You get 12 free rocks, but now you have to buy a rock every month for a year!

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Wine of the Day Club

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

The Digital Dark Ages

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

Houdini 2019

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

Club of the Month

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

Cable / Satellite / Digital TV "Still nothing on TV."

Supermarkets

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

"You know very well what subscription forms."

"We've become so diversified these days...let me check to see if we have anything at all to do with customer service."

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.