Submission Enthusiast Pillows

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Can our software do that?'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Putin and Zelensky

His Master's Thesis.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

Filling the Missile Gap

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Can you debunk my essay?'

The Real Russian history

"The narrative seems contrived."

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Fyodor Sologub

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Big Guys vs Little Guys

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

Fine Print Letters

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'