Submerged Satirist Pillows

posting a flood insurance claim

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

'Secondhand smoke.'

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

Blockhead

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

Suburban street.

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Bed of Nails on Holiday

Cowboy Trump

Whale shoots rocket at whaling boat.

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Autumn Leaves

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

"As if being expelled from the garden of Eden wasn't enough, that apple had a worm in it!"

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

"To gain free publicity, corporate wants to turn out office into a reality show. For ratings, we'll need you to all to start hating and fighting each other."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.