Stylistic Humorist Pillows

Westport Grunge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Football Chameleon

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"1-1"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The Eggsorcist"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Honest Vending

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

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German School

"What are you doing?"

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'