Stylish Dressing Gifts

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Redhead

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Victorian Gentleman

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'Does this suit make me look too eager?'

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"I opted for the upgrades."

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Let's see a robot do that."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

Unsuitable clothing.

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

'How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?'

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

'Like most fund managers, I consistently under-perform the market--but I do it with real flair.'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"I don't know how Mom does it. I think I'm already getting a bunion."

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

2 Live J. Crew

"Don't rush me, I can't find nothing to wear."

"Mini, midi, maxi. Maxi, midi, mini . . ."

"Still prickly, but smart. Styling gel makes the difference."

"Does my overdraft look big in this?"

Breakages must be paid for

In reply to a compliment about his huge tie, a young man explains that he gives the whole of his mind to it

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the breakroom.'

Hey, do you want ranch with that salad?