Style Trafficker T-Shirts

Hair Traffic control.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Thank god I bought my layers."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

New Shoes.

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"I don't like your application."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."