Style Savvy Mugs

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

Yves Saint Laurent face mask

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'Take ten years off the top.'

Bra. No Bra.

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Trinny and Susannah.

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

I travel Prada whenever I can."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

New Suit.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Hats and Food

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'

The Return Of The Minipants

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'