Stroller Strategist Mugs

"Get me the coast.

"She's not fast . . . but she gets you there."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'I've got it written down...'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Beware of teething baby.

"When can I redeploy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"Today I'm going to search and scroll and swipe and binge."