Strip Saga Lover T-Shirts

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 26

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

"Clifton, you have 30 minutes to clear your desk."

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Performance reviews in Hell.

'Household water use'

"OK, I'll stop shining the laser pointer at the ceiling if you stop doing the fake ball toss."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

The Schmoozy Reaper

'When did this rash of bad publicity first appear, Mr. Johnson?'

Hi again

Personnel. Portions of my resume have been redacted for national security reasons.

007's Dating Mishaps

D-Day landings of walking fish.