Strip Mall Explorer Pillows

'There's no strip club in this strip mall.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

No Elgar!

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Fist Bumper Cars

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

Tunnel of Whale Guts

Unusual Offers

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

Mall of ages

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

Plane Yogurt.

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'