Retail Explorer Pillows

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"It might be this Christmas, it might be next."

Man sees Grim Reaper and angrily points to a sign which reads: No Hoodies.

'You wouldn't catch George & I purchasing off the internet. We much prefer the hustle & bustle of real shopping.'

'Don't think of it as just another supermarket, think of it as a retail theme park.'

'Sale' 'Your money back if we feel like it'

"The retail environment helps a conventional practice like ours compete with the retail clinics popping up everywhere."

'I've come down for a lie down - I've been in retail therapy.'

Directions.

If you don't see what you want please ask

WH Smith make huge losses, scallieschavs decide to shop-lift elsewhere.

'I'm a good shopper. I know how to find bargains. I think it's genetic. My mother always said that when she married dad, she got a real bargain.'

Products offered on TV but not sold in stores.

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"Attention, shoppers. We have a lost boomer at the information desk."

"Water is on sixteen."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"How was work?"

Myths and legends...

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Unusual Offers

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

Alphabet soup

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."