Stretching Skeptics T-Shirts

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"You calm down."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

Twenty Blades Razor

'Keep fit.'

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

Fresh Eggs: Now With Free How To Suck Eggs Download!

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

The first meeting.

"Anything with amazon, I hear they treat their workforce like robots."

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

'Welcome to the exercise hotline. To start a very low impact exercise program, press #1250 times.'

"I didn't live through a global pandemic just so I could group hug again!"

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'