Stress Shopper Gifts

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Surfing the daily stress

The Amazing Man-Spider

Fight or Flight

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"I feel your pain."

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

Danger Slow Sand.

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'