Stress Shopper Gifts

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

The Amazing Man-Spider

Surfing the daily stress

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Fight or Flight

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

"I feel your pain."

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

Danger Slow Sand.

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.