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Financial Advisor on Call.

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Next camera crew 5 mins

Violent Crime Statistics

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Baby's first words.

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'