Streaming Service Critic Pillows

"How can anyone say white collar prisons are cushy? Look, we don't even get Hulu."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"You look pleased with yourself. What gives, little buddy?" "Well..." "...Netflix was removing their 'Voltron' reboot, so I spent forty hours straight streaming it. I finished all eight seasons with seconds to spare." "It was worth it. The show was so insanely good that it made me feel like I was ten years old again..." "...like I just skateboarded home with a Mountain Dew and a bag of Funyons after watching 'Footloose.'" "Something tells me my '80s were a lot sexier than your '80s."

Payback Time

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'Ladies and Gentlemen we regret to announce there will be a slight delay to your flight.'

"It's a new bank policy, sir - Transactions under $500 just aren't worth our while."

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

The Digital Dark Ages

Will take headphones off and stop ignoring people at...

Earth wearing Mickey Mouse hat

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

"I just don't see a future for us Jane, our Netflix wish lists are just too different."

"We're shorthanded - open your own!"

Walmart vs. Target.

"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."

'I think he's recognized us: I told you we should have left a tip last time...'

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

"I didn't know you COULD finish Netflix."

'Did you see iPlayer last night?'

Budget Air - Click here if you agree to be being treated like dirt

Trivia Pursuit

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'