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The Number One Streaming Service Of College Students

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'There's nothing on.'

Cord cutter

The First Fire Stick

I should probably get out more.

Live Stream

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

TV-Man

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Can't Touch This

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

"You are still here."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Zoom Christmas

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

Starvation Watching

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

A woman watches football on her computer.

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

TV and cleaner

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.