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'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

"That's my boy!"

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"I'm here to gets the gold"

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

'My problem is if I have one, I can't quit!'

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

'No matter how many times I beat these guys they still don't take me serious.'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'Want to go for a dip?'

'The competitor in lane five is completely naked!'

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

"That is six feet."

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

'1875 - Captain Matthew Webb becomes the first man to swim the English Channel.'

"That was one strange and confusing competition."