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'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

"That's my boy!"

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"The back flip was a nice touch."

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

"I'm here to gets the gold"

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

'My problem is if I have one, I can't quit!'

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

'No matter how many times I beat these guys they still don't take me serious.'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

"That is six feet."

'Want to go for a dip?'

"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

'The competitor in lane five is completely naked!'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Things to do today: Practice for long distance swim.