Stratum Explorer Gifts

Archaeologists look at stratigraphy with irons in it - 'And right above the Stone Age strata you can clearly see artefacts from the 'Iron Age'!'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

Stratigraphy

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

"It's scary how empty I feel inside. It's Easter, but I'm feeling like Hollow-een"

Clandestine cows.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"Are you there now, Linda? Are you in that happy, safe place that brings you peace and assurance, and deep contentment?"

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

If poets wrote road signs.

"The thing about innovation, new ideas and change is that it needs to be carefully considered, vetted and fall within corporate governance before being implemented."

First you say I should "know thyself" and then you tell me to extinguish my ego!

"You're going to create the same problems on the way down as you created on the way up."

Paranoia Clinic

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"You're sucking all the fun out of my misery."

"No one understands me."

Turtle to counselor: 'If you don't mind I won't lay on my back.'

"I've never really felt comfortable in my comfort zone."

"Avoiding something, aren't we?"

In a twist on "It's A Wonderful Life," sometimes I wonder what the world would have been like if I HAD existed.

Have you considered the possibility that you're only hiding from yourself?

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

Construction Idea

"I would stop the negative self talk if I wasn't such a worthless, pathetic loser."

'How should I know when I'm going to pay you? -- You're the psychiatrist.'