Strategy Humorist Pillows

'It's time for a bold new direction...I'm changing my catchphrase from 'lock and load' to 'yank and crank.''

"Belay the search mission. I just realized I have a find my phone app."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Under new blame.

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

Coronavirus Windmills

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

'Our recommended position on the market is fetal.'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

'It's true. There was a coup.'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

'Remember, son, when the going gets tough, bail out!'

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

BP Waiter: Dinner is served!

'We buy and sell them.'