Strategic Planning Pillows

'Enough with all the strategic planning. Just get out there and kill something.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

You will meet a handsome strategic partner.

'It's a simple two-part strategy. First, locate the hills. Then head for them.'

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'I'm sorry...what other options are there?'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'As part of our growth strategy we intend to build 76% more of them...as soon as we find out what they do!'

'Our short term solution is money. Our long term solution is more money.'

'...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?'

'And this is our strategic planning department...'

"...international crisis, all the little flags have fallen off our map."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'We tried it your way and continue to lose market share. It's time you let me take a shot at it.'

"I'm concerned, Larry. All you seem to do lately is put out fires and run around like a..."

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

Group Think Time

'And right here they merged...'

Jack and Ina build their dream house.

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

'Jenkins, get me all you've got on hindsight.'

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

'By the end of the year, our goal is to have words in these boxes on the left. Next year we plan to have arrows pointing to the boxes on the right, which will have even more words in them.'

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"The first one is actual, the second was our projection."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Gentlemen, it's time for...Plan C!'