Strategic Director Gifts

'OK ladies and gentlemen, when I start the music start circling the chairs. When the music stops please take up your new post...'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Any questions?"

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Empty box of ideas

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Bright idea

"We have an acronym!"

"#Win!"

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

Eureka!

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'