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Dog licking up Humpty Dumpty.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

The Poky Little Pupa.

Little Princess.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'Bedtime stories at the Browns'.'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'