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Writer's Strike

'I wouldn't worry about not brushing before bed if it was just the one night, Mr. Van Winkle.'

"This one is broken."

I hate to tell you this, but most of the pigs on social media are rooting for the wolf.

My friend just told me every detail of his life, and now I'm going to tell them to you. Bob has the regift of gab.

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Edgar Allen Poe

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Feel free to take notes."

A Fairytale Update

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'