Storyteller Of Sacred Tales Pillows

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Eat my dust!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Phoenix

Santa CGI Effect

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

What happens on Noah's Ark stays on Noah's Ark.

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"King Herod sent us."

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."