Spiritual Storyteller Pillows

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'God's home videos.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Nativity

'Did you pack this case yourself?'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Local News in Heaven

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

Mother Goose Spoilers

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"King Herod sent us."