Storyteller Economist Pillows

'The global economy is fragile and mysterious, folks... kind of like Tinkerbell in 'Peter Pan.' When people stopped believing in the magic, Tinkerbell almost died. So it's up to us to invent a better supernatural creature to believe in!'

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Made in China

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'The recession is over, again.'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Money god

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'Wait a minute....!

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

Investments.

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

Euro Bait

Positive Trend, Dreadful Outcome

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

A collective sigh of relief.

'The price of a stock will fluctuate on these three factors...'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'