Storyline Shredder Gifts

"Condense this down to a series of memes and we'll take another look at it."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

Eric Clapton.

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

The Affordable Shredder

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

Johnny Winter.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"I'm sorry-you tapped into something no one cares about."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'I don't know about you lot but I've just played Proud Mary.'

Abstraction and recognition

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

Bill Haley

"The food in your pantry may kill you, details tonight...on Eyewitness News!"

It's not a rip in the space-time continuum, Ernie --- Just in the newspaper.

'Ladies and gentlemen of the press...what is your verdict?'

Rock on!

'The sooner you are 'discovered' the better - you're costing your Dad a fortune in electricity!'

Did we end last week with an awesome, startling cliffhanger, or what? I mean, there you dear reader were, thinking what incredible revelation is forthcoming? How could you hint that Sadie Cohen, resident irascible octogenarian, has a dark secret, and then just break for the weekend? And yet … despite the fact that we esteemed and handsome cartoonists taunted you with such a remarkable tease, such a breakthrough narrative moment, we have not been inundated with cards and letters begging for the t

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"

I'm so confused about Star Wars. Anakin Skywalker was good, then he turned into evil Darth Vader. It's just a movie, Timmy. It's important to remember that. Oh. What about Governor Cuomo. The dark side is powerful.

Youtube reviews make me feel old, Randy. Well … they're always full of whining, nitpicky, smug people complaining that the film or tv show wasn’t easy enough to follow. Reviewers complain that characters actions "don't make sense," as if they unaware that people often don't make sense. Or that a scene wasn't "necessary," as if establishing character doesn't matter. They complain that the plot was "confused," but when I was growing up, that just meant the viewer wasn't paying enough attention. It

"Sometimes you just option it because your gut tells you this is a book that has to be butchered."

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

'Not really interested in the meaning of life. I want to know what's going to happen on my soaps?'

"I'm not interested in the meaning of life...I want to know what's going to happen in my soap"