Storybook Switcheroo Pillows

"When the heck does this story start? Oh, wait—this is a cookbook."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

The Runaway Horse

Little Princess.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Knights of the bedside table.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Alice in Wonderland - Painting the Rose Tree.

Dorothy and Toto

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

Sun and the Moon step out.

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

'I'm the good witch...this is my house made out of dental products.'

Damsel takes blackbird pie mix from store shelf.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

Children's Spirit Slips Out at Night.

'They were in a group, so I bagged them all.'

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

Gorillas Learn to Read.

Reality Wagon Train

Alice in Wonderland - Alic e Meets a Puppy.

'And then Baby Bear said...'

Will Work For Children.

"He called it a 'retreat,' but it looked more like a SCAMPER to me."

Scene from The Emperor's New Clothes. Little boy says: 'But he's not even wearing any designer labels.'