Storybook Princess Enthusiast Pillows

Duchess

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

A Fairytale Update

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Little Princess.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

The Frog Prince

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."