Storybook Characters Pillows

Cheshire cat meets cheshire mouse.

'The Tooth Fairy left me dental floss and a pamphlet on proper brushing technique.'

A woodchop competition with a difference.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

The Runaway Horse

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Where the wild things were."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

Knights of the bedside table.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

"Well did he?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Cupid

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."