Storybook Narrator Pillows

'You'd better stop reading, Dad... you're making me sleepy.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

The Runaway Horse

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Bookworm Sleepover

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"Where the wild things were."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Little Princess.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Knights of the bedside table.

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Treasure Island Book.

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Cupid

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Sleeping Beauty

Cinderella and Charming the Clown