Storybook Adventures Pillows

".. Toad is determined to drive Heavy Goods Vehicles."

Little Princess.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Late night teddy reading

Bookworm Sleepover

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Where the wild things were."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Treasure Island Book.

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Alice in Wonderland - Painting the Rose Tree.

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Dorothy and Toto

Sleeping Beauty