Story-telling Through Plants T-Shirts

"I suppose, you being a cartoonist, vertical gardening is just another way to get column inches."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Lady of the bath...

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

The Paper Route

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

Three Witches from Macbeth

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

"Less roman, more clef."

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

'Beautiful book. However, I'm afraid it lacks video game potential.'

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

Sylvia Plath

The Perfect Garden.

Punch and Judy Sales Conference

'The Merry Men are NOT groupies!'

Journalist in charge of gardening column has dead plant.

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

Shakespeare begins a play about a ship's captain and a white whale... and realizes he's never even been on a boat.

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"And, after they see you do this, the 'promised land' can be whatever you say it is."

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

Tragedy and Material