Story Spelunkers Gifts

"I hope that the next time you dive into a good book, you first check to see how deep it is!"

Characters jumping out of a book.

Audio Books

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Christopher Isherwood

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Getting the bus back into town from the Bologna Children's Book Fair...

Men discussing a book on a chat show

It's a picture book. The words aren't called "subtitles."

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

Bookworm Romance

Meet the pop-up author.

"It's post-gingerbread."

"Gesundheit!"

Proceedings of the club

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

"'Moby-Dick'? Again?"

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

" 'And so the crack-whore princess and her pimp lived happily ever after. The end.' O.K., that's it. Lights out."

"No, I want a story I already know all the words to."

Sauce close to the PM.

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

'Gramma, can you help with my homework?'

"There are too many starfish for you to save. How can you possibly hope to make a difference?"

'Step one inexploring a newly discovered cave- wade thru the bat guano.'

The author will be signing books for fifteen minutes.

"Good lord, we found the queen!"

For Sale - The rights to my story.

"The bunny, …. May we assume that's you?"