Story Arc Enthusiast T-Shirts

"The typical arc - child prodigy, boy wonder, flash in the pan."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Victor Hugo

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Hansel and Gretal

"This is what's known as a book."

Alberich steals the gold

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

'Oh Ernie, you're a louse, but I love you.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.