Storm Prepper T-Shirts

'Put up the storm windows? -- but that's just looking for trouble!'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Natural Disasters

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Disasters

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

Emergency Underpants

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Fire Assembly Point

"What's this stench?! You know you're not supposed to store perishable items for winter right?!"

In case of fire call yourself.

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

Helicopter Rescues.

'It's the plumber ... '

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

Weather is getting bad. . . what you need in your car for winter driver and emergencies...

Where's the leak then?

Alberta on fire

"I'm getting a snack. Want me to dig up anything for you while I'm out?"

How To Deal With The Upcoming Recession, Inflation, Depression, Ice Age, Greenhouse Effect, Energy Crunch, Population Explosion, and Complete End of the World in the Year 2000.

Break Glass and Pull in the Event of Flaccid Pecs