Storefront Storyteller T-Shirts

First day on the shop floor.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Sign Reform

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'Guess how much I sold today?'

Mom $50 Pop $35

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"Coming soon. Possibly a thrift store or a bakery...or, no—how about a coffee house? Yoga studio? Pizza joint?..."

American high street

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

That was 16 items.

"We're becoming a new dynamic company, Miss Peeble, and frankly you just haven't got the wow factor."

'I wanted my new sign to be noticeable.'

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

News on television: 'On Wall Street, stocks rebounded on news that 'up' and 'down' are just states of mind.'

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

"...Then he slammed the door on me!"

'Our motto is, 'We'll do anything to sell a car!' but he really means it.'

'Business is so bad even the shoplifters have stopped coming.'

The Mormons

'Well, Johnston. Your twenty five year probationary period with this company is up. And I'm afraid you're just not what we're looking for.'

The clock-side in the chimney-corner

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

He doesn't look sorry!

"Now, do you see why I discourage employee fraternization, Tom!"

'Hello, parent company? -- the guy at the next desk keeps LOOKING at me!'

The Cradle of Convenience